Pre-pregnancy weight?: 114 lbs
Post-pregnancy weight?: 100 lbs
About the Father
Are you still together?: yes, for four years now. fox was born exactly three years to the day of our first date. i think he waited that extra hour or so just so i could say that.
About Your Pregnancy
Was this your first pregnancy?: i had an early miscarriage not long before fox was conceived.
When did you find out you were pregnant?: i knew i was pregnant before my appointment with my obstetrician (which was my final checkup to make sure i was okay after our loss). i told vincent before we went inside that he shouldn’t be surprised if i take a pregnancy test and it’s positive. the nurse thought i was crazy and just not dealing well when i told her i thought she should do a test. but i was right.
Was it planned?: the first time was planned, but we didn’t know you could get pregnant after a miscarriage before you had a period. and we decided not to try again until i could sort out my head. but we were both excited, and so so nervous. we kept it a secret for a while.
What was your first reaction?: a big smile, because i already knew.
Who was with you when you found out?: vincent actually told ME. i think that not lot of girls get to experience their s/o telling them they’re pregnant. we were in the ultrasound room getting ready to make sure everything had ‘passed’ from the miscarriage (ugh), and i was in the attached bathroom when the nurse came in the room. v asked, “so did they do a pregnancy test or..?” so when i came out, he told me i’m pregnant.
Who was the first person you told?: my grandma
How did your parents react?: our mums were so happy for us! both our fathers died when we were teenagers. but i know they’d be happy too.
How far along were you when the baby was born?: 38 weeks, 1 day
What was your first symptom?: just feeling like i was pregnant, then sore boobs and a superhuman sense of smell.
What was your due date?: july 24th — he came friday, july 13th.
Did you want a girl or a boy?: i just wanted a healthy baby. i couldn’t care less about its gender. i feel sad when people say they want one over the other — what if your baby finds out later that he wasn’t born the ‘right’ gender, the one you wanted?
What names did you pick out?: for a girl we chose violet, and our other choice for a boy’s name was luca.
Did you get stretch marks?: no! which is odd because it’s a genetic thing and everyone else in my family got them. i think it’s partly because i never ate any meat when i was pregnant, and hardly any junk food, so when i had pregnancy ‘binges’, they were always healthy foods.
Did you get morning sickness?: i was very sick until the middle of my second trimester i guess, and then on and off. i was sensitive to almost all smells, and some sights too. just the thought of meat made me hurl. i also hated garlic, which is one of my favorite things.
About the Birth
Did you have a birth plan?: kinda… i kept referring to it as our ‘birth outline’ or ‘birth ideas’ in jest. really it was for myself more than the medical staff. most didn’t care about it anyway.
Home or hospital birth?: hospital. home births with a midwife sadly aren’t an option here.
Natural or medicated birth?: natural with 30+ hours of intense labor.
Who was in the delivery room with you?: i only wanted vincent, my doula, and my obstetrician to be in there with me, but we had a meconium incident so there were loads of nurses in the room, including a girl with whom i went to high school. :/
Did you breastfeed?: we’re still going eight months later!
Did you cry when you held the baby for the first time?: i was too exhausted and delirious. but i was all smiles. i cried later that morning, happy tears for obvious reasons and sad ones because i suddenly felt so empty physically and my baby was so vulnerable outside my body. sometimes i wish he still lived there just because he was always safe.
Did you poop?: vincent insists i didn’t, so i’m just going with that. i believe it because i wasn’t allowed to eat the whole time i was in labor at the hospital.
Did you let someone videotape the birth?: noooo. but i wouldn’t have been allowed even if i wanted it due to hospital policy.
Were you excited or scared?: both. that’s the most scared and excited i’ve ever felt in my life. once they told me he had meconium though, i felt my heart break a little bit because i knew how serious that could be. they told me not to panic if i didn’t hear him cry, which made me panic really hard.
Who cut the cord?: my obstetrician. i wanted vincent to do it, but everything happened so fast and the meconium thing meant they had to get him out and make sure he hadn’t aspirated any of it. he didn’t.
Did you tear?: no, which is awesome because that was what i was most afraid of throughout my entire pregnancy and labor. i did kegels like a madwoman as soon as i found out i was pregnant, and even through my labor. and then a very kind nurse did perineal massage toward the end of my labor and i think that was key.
How many kids do you have?: one forever
How old are they?: 8 months, 2 weeks
Do you want more?: no, i can’t imagine dividing my time, resources, and most importantly, my affection between two or more kids. fox is perfect.
Are you on birth control? What kind?: no, i can’t handle synthetic hormones and the iud scares the shit out of me. i don’t want anything to interfere with breastfeeding and i don’t want foreign objects in my body. we’re very careful though.