February 2012
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iMessage me!
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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Today is my 21st birthday and I'm too pregnant to...
Yay!
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Anonymous asked: Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I am so excited for you and your baby. I am sure that you will be a fantastic mother. I know that a lot of people have been harsh about your past problems and how they may effect your pregnancy. I was just going to mention that Princess Diana was bulimic the majority of her time as a princess but was not while she was pregnant. Her pregnancies went well and she...
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Anonymous asked: You're going to make a lovely mother. Your son is going to be so, so loved. Congratulations, and all the best.
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necromantics replied to your photoset: 18 weeks! Oh how I wish I could walk in on someone doing this.
Everyone in the library was asleep! If there had been more blood, I seriously would’ve thought someone shot up my school while I was watching a Bill Murray film in sociology.
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pregnancy cravings up to 17 weeks:
gingersnaps every minute of my life (dipped in ice cold coconut milk)
cheese pizza, sometimes white, sometimes regular, sometimes with green bell peppers and mushrooms
French toast
orange juice
grapefruit
meat substitutes… I think I’m craving iron?
salads made with spinach instead of lettuce, balsamic vinaigrette
sourdough bread
granola
BlowPops
strawberry ice cream (the...
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"Our son."
Vincent and I keep saying this, just in regular conversations about the baby and our future and our everyday life, and then stopping and smiling at each other. It’s so weird. Our little coffee bean has an actual pronoun now, he’s a he and we can stop calling him “it.” I guess being pregnant hasn’t felt real until just a couple days ago, and it feels like it’s...
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Ron Paul introduced a bill in 1980 to deny funding... →
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morethanchingudeul asked: omg they are literally hatemailing you because they're jealous you're so beautiful hahaha
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Anonymous asked: You're beautiful awesome and I love you.
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Yesterday I went on a frozen yogurt date.
I had:
strawberry yogurt
so many strawberries
cheesecake yogurt
cheesecake chunks
granola because I’m obviously super healthy
tiny white chocolate chips
a little white chocolate syrup
and I ate every single bite and I didn’t feel bad. :9
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Kotakoti - Encyclopedia Dramatica →
Since you’ve probably never heard of them.
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necromantics replied to your post: Posting all the anons I get re: Mama Kannibal’s ~cyberbullying~! Oh I thought they died……….
Somehow, even through all the shitty parenting bestowed upon them, they’ve managed to survive to 2012, with still not a single shred of the relevance they knew they’d achieve back in, like, 2004 on MySpace when they started this ~*e-fame fuckery,...
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Anonymous asked: You're really fucking pretty. And without Photoshop, too. The Ostrengas are jelly as fuck. js though you probably already know it
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Anonymous asked: It's funny how Cathy described what her daughter looks like. Only not a five head but a 10 head. Girl has a landing strip as a forehead. Honey, you're beautiful, you look like Gemma Ward. <3